loved on a monday. (retardated) wrote in flowetic,
loved on a monday.

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these two pages leave my heart spilling ink.


the cd player skips over my favorite part
i can't get it back anymore
everytime i listen it's missing
like a hole in my heart
that dead air holds the last two months
that dead air controls the rest of my life
forever i'll hear your name in the scratch
forever i'll hear her name in that silence
is she better than me
so much she's your public love
i couldn't fix it then
and i can't do it now
i listen to the stories they tell
i ache inside and out
i cry myself to sleep with your gift in my arms
breathing deep i catch your scent but it's slowly fading
like the scratch soon all of you will be gone to her
why did i ask..
why did i wonder..
i wish i could fall into the dead air of my song
i want to be where our part is
in the loop of it's playback forever
but i'll skip back a few seconds now
and listen to see if you'll ever play again

you, me, and all of it between

you're two hours from yesterday
you're that much closer to my heart
you'll never be today
you'll never be tomorrow
you're the forgotten that's always remembered
you're the empty space in my hand that makes it full
you make no sense to anyone but i can read your mind
you make everyone smile but when i see you i frown
you hide your eyes
you hide the lies
your lips are sealed
your heart has sunk
i laugh
i cry
i smile
i sigh
i say some rhymes
i have some good times
it's all without you though
i don't know if you'll ever be more than a memory
i don't know if i can ever be more than a cigarette butt tossed aside
you're my heroin addict
i'm your quick fix
i'm utter cofusion
i'm ecstacy until you get a better high
i'm two hours from death
i'm two hours from life
i'm two hours from my heart
i'm just like you in every way
i'm opposite of your feelings
i'm opposite of your mind
we're something lost
we're something gained
we had it all
we had nothing but hope
we've forgotten
we've remembered
we've loved
we've died
you and i were never us
you and i were always unfinished
so contradicting
so agreeable
so lost
so painful
so pleasing
so intense
so dull
so wrong
so long
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